| and the pieces fall |
[May. 18th, 2004|10:08 pm] |
| [ | the emo bullshit i am currently slitting my wrists to |
| | elliot smith- waterloo sunset | ] |
I really feel like I've matured in the past few units of time. My desk broke, so now my computer is on the floor. I'm too short to change the lightbulb, so it's dark. Nobody would notice if I just disappeared. Me and Liz got in a big fight. I sat next to her in math, and she just flew off the fucking handle. She's so beautiful, in a sad way. It reminds me of the leaves in the fall- they're beautiful, but they're dying. That girl is so perfect for me. |
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| I See Trees Of Green |
[Apr. 24th, 2004|01:46 pm] |
| [ | how much i hate my mom right now |
| |  i've hated her more. | ] |
| [ | the emo bullshit i am currently slitting my wrists to |
| | Dashboard Confessional - William The Whiny Welshman | ] |
The room was dimly lit. As I masqueraded into it from the corridor, I mumbled.
"Christ, Jimmy. Turn a fucking light on or something."
He threw me a Coke, and I flipped on the light switch. The room was completely silent except for Jimmy turning the pages in his copy of Chicken Soup For The Soul. I stumbled over to the stereo and popped it open. He looked at me.
"Dashboard?"
"Dashboard."
I smiled. He returned my smirk, and then whiny bullshit flooded the room. Beyond content, I hobbled back over to the couch and collapsed on the feaux-velvet. I opened my Coke and shut my eyes. Around the whiniest part of the song, I just fucking lost it, and I got out my razor. I didn't even know it was in my pocket. Well, maybe I did. I don't even fucking know what happened. One minute I was just sitting there, totally inside of the beats and the incredible rhythms of Dashboard, and the next my veins were spitting blood into my face. I pulled down the sleeve on my AFI hoodie and hurriedly walked out to the bathroom before Jimmy could see what had happened.
"Dude, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I uh...I have to take a piss."
I got to the bathroom and pulled up my sleeve. The blood was dripping down my arm in the most intricate patterns, creeping towards my elbow and leaking to the floor. I fell back against the wall, and my glasses began to fog over.
"You alright in there, dude?"
"I don't feel too well." |
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| today was a pit of agony :( |
[Apr. 22nd, 2004|11:27 pm] |
| [ | how much i hate my mom right now |
| | a fucking lot | ] |
| [ | the emo bullshit i am currently slitting my wrists to |
| | Dashboard, you stupid fucks | ] |
Today sucked. School was horriffic as usual. I was mocked and tormented by the other children for having edgy mannerisms and daring to break away from the mainstream. They just don't understand. They don't get how much Dashboard speaks to me. They don't get the streaks of violet under the torn sleeves of my black hoodie. They don't get how much I hate my mom. At lunch, I was eating my yogurt and biscuits and listening to Dashboard (as per usual) when a fucking douche bag named Billy McPherson decided to ruin my life even more. "Hey Krys," he roared at me. "Can I uh, borrow a chair?" And I fucking exploded. I know he deserved it. But I felt bad that I can't control my emotions. Sometimes I just don't get it. It's the ire that incites the wrath that can only come from living an overprivelaged suburban life. I shouted, "YOU WANT YOUR FUCKING CHAIR? YOU CAN HAVE YOUR FUCKING CHAIR." And then I threw it at him and gave him a concussion. Anyway, the principal sent me home, but he knew just as well as I did that Billy deserved that. Only a true jackass would capitalize on someone when they have such a crappy mom. Anyway, I haven't cried in a couple hours. I'll post some more later. |
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